He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
