You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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