so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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