Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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