Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
