I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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