): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
