We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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