Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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