i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
