I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
