nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
