I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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