Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
