I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
