After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
