nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
