Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You made out with two different species that night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
