She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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