Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
