She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
