So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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