I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
