I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
