hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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