yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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