TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
