he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need a beard to bite.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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