Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
