Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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