Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
