You really coming over, don't trick.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
