Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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