Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
