I have demons in me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
