I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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