Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
