Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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