You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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