Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
