I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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