I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
