i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
