Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
