call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
