Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
