it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
