We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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