wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
