How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
