I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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